A MAP
Girl: A puzzling contraption that has no right side up.
Boy: An insult.

COMMITMENT
Girl: A long-term plan that involves the exchanging of vows and family planning.
Boy: Not trying to pick up other women while the girlfriend is in plain view.

SAYING I LOVE YOU
Girl: I want to marry you and bear your babies.
Boy: I want to get into your pants and then lose your number.

TO MAKE LOVE
Girl: The greatest expression of intimacy between married couples.
Boy: Call whatever you want as long as we end up in bed.

TO KISS AND MAKE UP
Girl: To be the recipient of an apology with lots of grovelling and expensive presents thrown in.
Boy: Sex.

BRAIN TEASER
Girl: Any thingamajig under a car's hood or a kitchen sink.
Boy: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Girl: Bragging rights.
Boy: The beginning of the end.

A GOOD TIME
Girl: Watching a foreign movie, concert, play or book.
Boy: Anything in a frosty mug.

DEDICATION
Girl: Calling him every hour to check up on him.
Boy: Leaving a vague sms before disappearing for the weekend.

TO BE VULNERABLE
Girl: To open up emotionally and talk about real feelings.
Boy: Blocking a penalty kick in a football match without cupping the family jewels.

TO DATE
Girl: An unspoken agreement to see each other exclusively.
Boy: A temporary distraction until something better comes along.

FLATULENCE
Girl: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Boy: An endless source of entertainment and a necessary form or self-expression.

A REMOTE CONTROL
Girl: A device for changing from one soap opera to another.
Boy: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every few minutes.

{8:20 PM}